by Trent Rosser
As most of you know, Hunter our dog is not small. He is 110-pound lap dog. Recently, Hunter and I have been butting heads. He is only 2 in human years, so that would mean that he is in the “terrible two” stage. If you counted his age in dog years, he would be the evil 14-year-old brat! Either way, he has been a jerk lately and has become a battle of wills between us. I am winning this battle, at least I think I am? After all, he is just a dog, right?
It all started a couple of months ago when he started to crawl under the fence and into the neighbor’s yard. I can’t really blame him on this, their yard is much bigger, and he has room to run. The problem was that he could push the chain link fence one way, but not the other. So, I would have to lift the fence and he managed to crawl back under. He only did it once or twice. For some reason after the first couple of times, he acted like he was scared of the fence and would not crawl back on our side, so I would have to knock on the neighbor’s door with a leash in hand. Well, after a many time of knocking on the neighbor’s door, I had enough. A trip to Home Depot, $80 in fencing supplies, 3 hours of building a makeshift fence and half a dozen band aids to cover my bloody fingers, I was done fixing the fence where he could not get out! So to celebrate, my wife and I went out to eat. About an hour and half later we arrived back at the house, can you guess where Hunter was? Yep, back in the neighbor’s yard. So, as much as I hated to do it, I had to chain Hunter up until I could figure out how to keep him on our side of the fence. The animals usually sleep inside with us at night. When we wake up in the morning we will let them out, so the next morning went as usual, except I put Hunter on his chain. My wife got ready and left for work. I was off that day, so I drove a couple of blocks and picked up a fountain drink. When I pulled back up in the driveway, Hades (our other dog) came running to the fence wagging his tail like normal. I could not see Hunter, but I did notice that the chain was stretched out across the yard and under the fence. After fighting with Hunter trying to get him back across the fence, his collar slid off and he was a free dog in the neighbor’s yard again! Ok, after getting him home, I put both the dogs in the house and made a special trip to Tractor Supply. Sometimes Hunter seems like a very smart dog, and I really think he remembered the yellow insulators on the hot wire at the old house. He was not happy seeing me put new ones up. Yep, I installed an electric fence again! New score: Hunter 5, Trent 1
Now at our old place, Hunter and Hades hit the hot wire just once again. That is all it took. So naturally they remembered the wire and what it can do to them. Unfortunately for Hades, he decided to sniff it to see if it worked like the other one. He soon realized that it did. Hunter on the other hand decided to pee on the new one. When the shock hit him, I thought his eyes would pop out of his head. He yelped, ran around the tree in the backyard and planted his butt right in front of the door. He wanted inside and did not want to get anywhere around the fence. I felt bad for him. But like a case of gas, the feeling passed! So now when we are out back, and I throw a ball, it will sometimes get stuck between the makeshift fence I built, and the hot wire. Of course, Hunter will not go near it so I have to go get it. Guess what? This hot wire is a little bit more powerful than the other one. I will reach down to grab the ball and a finger will touch the wire. The shock will go through me, I cuss a little and look at Hunter. I swear that dog knows how to laugh! New score: Hunter 6, Trent 1
One major issue we have with Hunter is when company comes over. He loves company. When we let him and Hades in the house they are both like a bull in a china shop. They come barreling in through the kitchen and into the living room. They immediately calm down when no one is there. They come up to our chairs and want us to pet them and loved on them for a minute, then they start wrestling each other. Both dogs are flipping each other and grabbing each other’s legs and tripping each other up. When they land on our feet and legs, it actually hurts! I usually get on to them about having a yard to play in and I don’t understand why the fight when they come in. They settle down most of the time, but when someone else is over at the house, it is a free for all. Hunter wants to be loved on and will jump up and put his front legs on their shoulders and want a hug. He will run under the table and behind the recliners and just try to show off for them. In the meantime, we are trying to calm him down and pick up everything he has knocked over with his tail (which, according to the neighbors, grandson and homeland security, the tail should be classified as a dangerous weapon). The other day our grandson let the dogs in (Hunter and our grandson are best friends). Hunter came barreling though the kitchen to see everyone and knocked my wife’s knee out. She already has a bad knee, and this brought tears to her eyes. When things calmed down she mentioned a shock collar. I am not sure a shock collar would work for us. Yes, it will work for Hunter and maybe he will calm down a bit, but how long will it take before my wife decides to slip it on my neck while I’m asleep? I have already tested out the fence, I really do not want a shock collar on me. I think Hunter understood because instead of wrestling with Hades, he sat down right in front of her and did not move. He knew he was in trouble. New score: Hunter 6, Trent 2
All in all, he is a good dog. He protects us from people walking down the street and against the evil squirrels that are in his tree. As I said before in previous columns, Hunter likes to sleep in between us at night. He will not let me get too close to my wife. He protects her. We have a king size bed and I am always on the edge He also likes to put his head across my neck. We found out that in some species, the animals will put their head on the neck of the alpha male to protect the alpha male. I thought this was true for the longest time, but I have come to realize that with Hunter it is not the case. In reality, he is just trying to choke me out! Or sizing my neck for a new shiny shock collar! Final score: Hunter 7, Trent 2
Photo by Trent Rosser