By Kevin Bradford

I can smell the aroma of walking in the door getting ready for the holiday we were about to gather for. The memories and the scents are all that is left. Many of you will know who and what the matriarch of the family is for you. Some will hopefully understand after reading this.

On my dad’s side of the family it was my grandmother, his mother, holding the matriarch title. As long as she was able, she would host the family in her tiny two-bedroom one bath home in west Texas. What a cook she was, and the amount of food was always plentiful. On an evening, the men would all gather around the table for a friendly game of poker and discussion. The women would gather in the living room and have their time of catching up while the kids, usually all cousins would disperse for their time of play. All were welcome with no bickering or backbiting allowed. It was a time to gather and enjoy spending time together from year to year whether it be Christmas or Thanksgiving. We all crammed in for the special family time without exclusion of anyone, even if you brought a guest.

Speaking of guests, my wife and I fostered children for 15 years with a few adoptions along the way. They would remark on the same thing of visiting granny…. the love she showed each of them, the acceptance, as well as the wonderful food.

The acceptance of family division after the matriarch either is simply no longer able to host and cook or they die is an eye-opening reality. The baton of the matriarch is a tradition of ways gone perhaps forever.

The matriarch would be the glue that held the family together and in line if you know what I mean. I would just say pass the traditions on to the next generations and keep them alive as best you can.

The times we live are very different with or without a pandemic. Personally, we have canceled a family tradition of gathering for the Thanksgiving time this year. Plans to resume certainly will happen when safety is not an issue.

Kevin Bradford is an Amarillo resident.